I'm ready for my close up

We attended the middle school awards ceremony this evening. It was a great set up. The students were called up alphabetically by grade level. Any one who participated in anything or achieved academically was invited to attend and all participations and academic achievements were announced. Proud of our youngest --in the top 10 of his class.

Anyway, as I am watching the kids walk up and get their awards there were moments that amused me, disturbed me, and a few that made me proud.

There was only one parent who obnoxiously yelled out as his kid accepted her award. Good for the parents.

In the 8th grade class there were so many who struck a model pose as they accepted their awards. Seriously -- quarter turn, one foot slightly in front of the other, hands on hips, cheesy smile plastered on the face. :-P

When returning to their seats they sat in the same seat they vacated. Entire rows crawling over each other.

So many kids with arrogance not confidence. I know it is a fine line but they definitely crossed it.

Kids I've known since kindergarten growing up into fine young men and women. So, so  proud of them. The 7th graders, youngest son's class, are the first group of kindergartners I worked with. They will always be my babies but I am proud of what they are becoming. And thrilled I get to see it happen.

Band concert and archery banquet left.

 9 days left.

It's the final countdown.

Personal Code

When I was in 6th grade I remember the teacher getting a folded note from the office. He read it, wrote something on it, folded it back up, and sent it back with the kid who had brought it in.

I wanted to know what it said. I wanted to be a teacher because I could be the know-er of secrets.

I grew up and began to develop my personal code.

Be honest
Be prompt
There is no such thing as just because

This is what I believe with all my heart. Rumors happen, in my opinion, because people are seeking truth. When we keep secrets or with hold information due to "right to know" we light the fire for the rumor mill.

That's not to say we have to tell all the gory details but if we pretend it isn't raining when all those around us are opening umbrellas that is a problem.

I have so many examples but the one most heavily weighing on me now is my job.

Four year ago we moved into our new building. January of that school year we get back from Christmas break. Assistants are told "due to budget constraints we no longer have 7 hours a day but now have 5. Effective immediately."

As assistants have left their positions lately (for whatever reason) they have been replaced by people hired by an outside company. This saves the corporation money in unemployment. There is now a rumor going around the corporation's intent is to release all of us to be employed/paid by this outside entity because of Obamacare.

I have asked if this rumor is true and am awaiting a response. But why should I have to ask? We received an email a couple weeks ago saying they did not anticipate releasing any IAs. Was that to assuage any fears? If so why not address it completely?

Rarely does honesty cause real problems. We might be angry. We might try to find a way to protect ourselves but do we not have that right? I am not a fan of the cover your butt mentality most in power seem to maintain. I am a fan of  "no such thing as just because."  If you are doing something you believe is right then do it and defend it. Wear your big girl/boy pants and accept the consequences of your actions.

Which brings me to the fourth key in my code.

Respect

Give it. Show it. Expect it.

Every   Single    Time

Wishing Flowers

The kids at recess love to collect dandelions.  They give them to me and to their teachers and want to save them for their moms. Unfortunately dandelions don't last long. A couple weeks ago I told them the flowers needed to stay outside. I said while we love them and love that they want to give them to us we have to leave them outside so the bees can use them to make honey. And we love honey! That seemed to work.
Yesterday one kid told me another had "a wishing flower".

Dandelions are weeds to grown-ups trying keep a nice lawn.
To kids they are flowers they can pick without getting in trouble for getting in the garden.
But to the young at heart -- the dreamers -- they are wishing flowers.

The lawn mower wouldn't start this afternoon and I only got half done yesterday. I was frustrated until I remembered the "wishing flower." Now I look out my window and I guess I don't see two more hours of work I can't finish today. No. I see wishes.

An abundance of wishes. :-)

Whatever it takes

We have about an acre
and a push mower.
I mow in concentric squares and rectangles.
I get it done.
Nibbling one disappearing
Geometric shape
at a time. :-)

Mother's Day

I gave birth for the first time in September of 1997.
I first felt him move in May of of 1997.
We started telling people in March of 1997.
We had it confirmed when he was a fetus of 7 weeks and 3 days according to the ultrasound.

When I saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound I became a mother.

When they were little we started a tradition of .....Mother's Day Photo Shoot.
On Mother's Day all I ask for is the ability to take posed shots with out complaint. :-)
The photo shoots have gotten shorter but the must haves are the boys posing with my husband and with me separately. I love how we've gone from them standing in front of me to me in front of them. I love how we no longer have to have the picture of their hands in front of their dad's hands or their feet next to their dad's feet because they have caught up.

And I hate it.
Because it means they aren't my babies any more.

But now they join their dad in breaking the no gifts rule. Now they create a present hunt for me hiding the gifts their dad bought for me and leaving me clues to each one like "The next gift is hidden in a place a place where the heat produced is dwarfed by the warmth and love we feel for you." Complete with wrapping paper drawn and colored with pictures that also gave clues to where the gift was hidden. An extra touch was each gift also had flowers indicating the number gift it was drawn on it. They worked together to wrap, come up with the clues, decorate, and hide the gifts.

And my sweet husband of 23 years gave me a gift I've been wanting for more than a year. A camera. I love taking pictures. I have 40 thousand on my external hard drive. It is my passion. This camera was on my list of things to get after we get xyandz.  I feel guilty that he bought it when he needs a better car. And we need other things more. But he said if we waited until we got all those other things we'd have nothing left to take pictures of.

So I took my first pictures with my coveted camera today. I have a lot to learn but I am so excited.

And proud.
And in love.

I love all my guys with all my heart.

A day that could not have been more perfect.
Thank you God for all the blessings in my life.

Heart and Hope

I'm just curious.

How do evaluations work other places?

Where my husband works, in the non-profit world, they do 360 evaluations. He evaluates senior staff who evaluate the staff they supervise. Everyone evaluates him.

When I worked non-profit my supervisor listened to me always and when it came time for evaluations there were no surprises and areas of weakness were seen as areas I could improve in -- with support and encouragement.

Where I work now my teachers give the principal evaluations on me and the principal gives me a 5 minute conversation. But the teachers have to have 3 short observations, 2 long observations, and several walk-throughs. They are judged on a scale of 1-4.  Observations are feared and results lead to feelings of hopelessness. I'm not in the process obviously but from conversations it seems the observations are very subjective. She comes right after recess or follows the class back from a special or even on the last day before a vacation. And the comments they feel are generally negative and offer no support.

Is this common? Coming from the non-profit world, am I naive to think the best way to improve is to have on-going conversations and offer support?  Shouldn't the principal be a visible, positive, supportive, informative individual that staff seek for advice instead of a sour, negative, angry, condescending individual staff try to avoid?

Who is the heart of the school?

Still working through this, but I'd like to know if our school is normal and there is no hope or if our leader is an anomaly in which case there is hope.

I can work with hope.

An Ode to the end of school

Banging my head against the wall--
Sometimes I wonder why I care at all
When they don't.

Crowded spaces
Empty faces
When will this be over?

Why do you suppose
The saying goes
We have two ears
With which to hear
But only one mouth to speak?

It seems to me
From what I see
Kids today have it backward.

Noisy spaces
Side turned faces
Ears have been turned off

Banging my head against the wall
Sometimes I wonder why I care at all
When will this be over?